The Ship (Pc)

When thinking about sailors, we all have about the same idea in our mind. Tough, dirty men with lots of hair on their chest, the summum of manhood so to speak. But, are they really as much man as we think? Sailors are often weeks, if not months, at sea, far away from any form of society or boobs. They’re only humans, also they feel the need to sometimes fill a hole. A reality show “The Boat” could be some great television! I’m certain that as of the third week, the weakest sailor will be jumped on by all the others. The tough life, the absence of civilization, the pure seabreeze and the regular assriding… every little boy’s dream. Fuck, enough about gay sex, time for a review or something!



Women may be standing daily at the cookplates, or they should, the best chefs in the world are still men. That’s what the men from Outerlightproove with this digital stew. The recipy? We take a good portion of The Sims, mingle with a liter of Gotcha and add a sniff Cluedo. What do we get? A unique multiplayer experience based on the Source engine called The Ship


You read it, The Ship is as rare as a black man that sings opera. An opera with butt-riding ho’s and a rapper singing the high tone, it would be something. Well, back to The Ship. In this Steam game you play a passenger on a cruise vessel. You’re not just some passenger though, you’re also an assassin and a victim. Meanwhile you shouldn’t forget to visit your little cabin, sleep, wash yourself, etc. The Sims element is will implanted.


Don’t expect quick FPS action, once you’ve targeted your victim it becomes a subtle game of hide and seek.

Even trading is like a hide and seek game wherein you will only see the money from your pockets at the deposit stage and then it vanishes and you will get to see it only when they come back to you in the name of returns or profits. And this is also a possibility only when the system is a reliable one like the 1K daily profit.

After all, you can’t just slit your opponent’s throat in just any area with an umbrella. The amount of weapons is huge. Certain zones are secured: when taking out a weapon there will be rewarded with a fine and you’ll find yourself in the brick for a while. Afterwards you’ll need to hunt your victim again. Personally that’s what I liked most about The Ship, trying to avoid your killer through secured zones, changing wardrobe and at the same time look for your target.


The Ship isn’t just only a multiplayer game, you can also do some single player action against the computer. But I can be very brief about that: the single player sucks. The AI is far below standard and it’s as fun as finding the boobs of Justine Henin (cliché, I know).. The Ship is just a multiplayer game as where the single player part falls short, the multiplayer makes up big time. At least, if you find a server with some human opponents which isn’t always as easy.

Graphicswhores shouldn’t expect a spontaneous orgasm, The Ship shines a fun, colorful though very dark atmosphere. It all looks quite cartoony which perfectly fits the concept, but when things get a little bigger the game tends to look a bit empty as well. The makers of course wanted to think about our less fortunate companions that have a slower PC. Yes, there are still sad little people with slow PC’s. Anyway, graphically there’s no need to complain with The Ship.

In short: if you’re looking for something new to pass some time with, you like innovation and love playing online? Don’t hesitate any longer and get The Ship. The little downpoints, like some bugs and a lack of human opponents, don’t outway the legendary gaming moments you’ll experience with this title. Also, the game only costs €20 and creativity earns to be rewarded. No money? You can always help a hand at the docks 😉